Friday, August 30, 2013

Dear Bashar. . .From Barack

(Originally published in The Times of Israel)

Dear Bashar:

Hi.  I hope the family is doing well, given the circumstances.  We're doing fine.  The girls are growing into fine young ladies and Michelle, well, I'm sure you've seen those pictures of her in sleeveless dresses (is there any other kind?).  She keeps pumping iron and sure has the results to show for it.  I'm not bragging.  Just sayin'. 

I won't even ask how you are doing.  I know this isn't easy. You have sure created a mess.  I mean, really.  This is not what we expected at all.

 You went to medical school in England and became an opthamologist.  My God, we all thought you wanted to keep people healthy.  You married an upper-crust, refined woman raised in England, the product of the finest schools.  She seemed so interested in keeping people healthy and happy.  She bled on-screen for those poor kids of Gaza suffering at the boot of the Zionist entity.  Ha, ha, I'm guessing Gaza is looking like Club Med to most Syrians these days. 

So, we all thought you would never do what you're doing.  I mean, take John Kerry.  When old John was a senator, he spent more time meeting and eating and drinking with you than just about anybody else.  I couldn't turn on the TV without him popping up coming out of a meeting with you and declaring what a reformer you are.  Boy, those days sure seem like a long time ago now, don't they, Bashar?